The Bond is the Most Important Thing

Recently I was watching a panel discussion broadcast from a number of speakers at one of the big dog behaviour conferences (in this case the Lemonade conference). This was one of the free broadcasts put out over the length of the conference, and the topic was the future of R+ training.

It was an interesting discussion, with the participants describing their journeys into reward-based training. Like many trainers and dog pros, including me, two of the speakers described their path as ‘crossover’ trainers, from the older compulsion-based methods. One of the speakers in particular said a couple of things that really hit home with me. They have had me thinking, not so much about the future of training, but the future of our relationships with our dogs.

The part that struck me most initially was her comment about the fact that we share our homes, largely in comfortable harmony, with a completely different species and just how amazing that is. To be honest when I heard that it blew my mind that I hadn’t ever thought about the fact in quite that way before. Two such completely different animals, with such different communication styles and methods and different natural behaviour patterns, living together in the same space.

This is the look it's all about

She then went on to talk about the difference between her relationship with her dogs when she was using compulsion-based training compared to now using reward-based methods. This also got me thinking about my life with my own dogs, and what I look for in our relationship now compared to when I was more ‘balanced’ in my approach, back in the working dog days, and why I train the things I do in the way I do.

Certain things I train, I do for safety. All dogs need a solid and reliable recall (while working on it there is a magical device to help called a lead or a long line). We have a wait cue, for if I need him to pause before crossing a road for example. He has a stay if, for some reason, it’s safer for him to stay where he is, and I come to him. He’s accustomed to wearing a muzzle for short periods, again as a ‘just in case’ thing.

He has lots of other cues he has learned, but not because he needs to know them. He loves to learn, he adores coaching sessions and working out what I want from him in return for the tasty treat that will follow, or the rub behind the ear, or the game with his favourite tuggy toy. We train together because we both enjoy it. It exercises that enormous collie brain he has and it’s a fun bonding activity for us. In fact, it’s a major part of our relationship.

There are other dogs who, while they don’t necessarily dislike training and are happy to take part, don’t love it as much as Finn does. And that is absolutely fine. We talk so often about needing to work with the individual dog in front of us, and this is no different to every other factor of individuality we need to consider. There will be some aspect of you and your dog that will come together to create that relationship booster; because the relationship we have with our dogs is really the most important thing there is.

I don’t care how many tricks my dog can do, or how sharply he performs those tricks. What I love is the happy, goofy expression on his face when he’s joyfully trying to work out what I want, or following my cue, because he’s having fun and knows good stuff is coming. I care about the fact my dog actively loves spending time with me, doing things together.

Seeing a happy collie dog makes my heart sing

I love that he is always happy to see me, to explore something new together, to cuddle up on the sofa in front of the telly in the evening. I love that, if he feels like playing, he’ll go and grab a toy and lob it at me to make me laugh and play with him. I love the fact that, if anything spooks him from outside the house, he comes and sits on my foot because he knows I’ve got his back.

Something else mentioned during this conversation was how to communicate the advantages of reward-based methods to people currently using compulsion or balanced methodologies. So often (and I have done this myself) we talk about the effects aversive measures and methods can have. I’ve talked before about cognitive dissonance, and the way that pointing out things contrary to what people ‘know’ can cause them to dig in and entrench themselves in their positions. Cognitive dissonance is a horrible feeling, a fact I know all too well, having been through the process myself in my crossing over to reward-based methods.

So, as was suggested in this conversation, maybe it’s time to stop digging in all of the time, getting ourselves deeper divided in our separate trenches. It is important that people have access to information on the effects different methods have on the dogs and their relationships with their humans. But we should not be entirely focusing on the bad, at the expense of talking about the good that comes from using reward-based techniques.

Rather than always pointing out the negatives of other methods, let’s start also spending time celebrating why we use the methods that we do – that amazing relationship that comes with reward-based training and considering the individual dog, their wants and needs. That connection and cooperation that is at the heart of the absolute best canine-human relationships.

That, for me, is the future of R+ training – it’s not even focusing on the training at all. It’s all about the relationship.

Following this thinking, I am currently in the middle of writing a course on developing and strengthening the dog-human bond, which I am hoping will be available in the not too distant future. 30 days of things to do and think about to increase the bond you have with your dog. When complete it will go on sale at the Good Guardianship site, where there are a few courses available already.