My Reactive Dog - The Best Thing That's Ever Happened To Me

(I should note before I start that I do not regard my dog as a 'thing'! Thing in this instance refers to the whole bundle of events that happened after he joined our family.)

I know, that title sounds insane. I've written many times of the emotions that can run rife as the guardian of one of these complex, complicated, sensitive dogs. Of how hard it can be on us, as well as them, to drift through a sea of stress and fear, or spending a large proportion of our time outside both in a state of hypervigilance constantly on the look out for triggers and problems on the horizon. And yes, I still struggle with that at times. The tears come much less frequently now, but I remember that raw, embarrassed and humiliated feeling as yet another person sneered at me and my 'bad' dog.

My prevailing feeling towards that troubled boy now is one of gratitude. (Possibly tempered a little by the fact he's currently trying to shove me with his back paws because he wants the whole sofa to sprawl on!) I love the very bones of this dog. His world is in many ways very small, even after more than 3 years of work. There are 6 people he is comfortable with in this world, and one of those he takes a minute to remember each time they see each other (2 of the 4 he hasn't seen in a year, for fairly obvious reasons, so how much this still holds true I don't know). With the people he is happy with, he is the soppiest lovebug of a dog. He is one of the exceptions to the fact that most dogs don't like hugs. He'll shove himself into our arms if he wants a cuddle and any attempt to move an arm away sees that arm grabbed by a paw and dragged back towards him. He loves kisses and snuggles and regularly spends part of his day using me as a pillow. At home he is utterly relaxed (unless he thinks someone outside is coming to the door). He's so secure in us here that if I don't realise he's asleep and start fussing him he never jumps. A lot of the time he doesn't even wake up, he's that relaxed. His life revolves around fuss, fun, and food. He's the most affectionate and loving dog I've shared my life with so far.

What this amazing boy has done for me has utterly revolutionised my life. In a desperate effort to understand what was going on with him, I signed up for a couple of courses from a canine education company. (No surprise to anyone that reads my articles regularly that I'm talking about Canine Principles!) Studying an advanced certificate in Canine Reactive Behaviour and Canine Coaching (although I quickly transferred to the more in depth Coaching Diploma) awakened a whole new avenue of interest for me. I've now worked my way through a significant portion of the Canine Principles catalogue, including their level 5 Canine Behaviour Professional Diploma that I completed last year.

I've written 2 books on reactive behaviour in dogs, 'Fight or Fright?' and 'Understanding Reactive Dogs', created video workshops, and am so enjoying my still relatively new role as a tutor for Canine Principles. I'm very happy that the course that really started me on understanding my dog and those like him is one of the courses I am now the tutor for.

Over 30 years of dogs preceded Finn entering our lives. In just under 4 years, he has taught me (or steered me to learn) so much more than I ever even imagined there was to know. Any dogs in my future will benefit so much from the learning path I have been on and, while the things I thought I wanted to do when we brought that cute puppy home nearly 4 years ago have never panned out, the level of trust and security he shows in us - even if nobody else ever sees it - is an amazing feeling.

These dogs teach us more than perhaps a lifetime of 'normal' dogs - and in fact our concept of that 'normal' dog is quite possibly removed from the truth. The common perception among dog guardians who have never encountered a reactive dog, or spent any time in the study of dogs and canine behaviour, is that all dogs want to play with and meet other dogs. In their minds, any dogs that aren't happy with an unknown dog gambolling up to say hi have something wrong with them, or the owners are bad because they haven't trained the dog properly. This is simply not true.

There are some dogs who are social butterflies and ready to socialise with anyone and everyone. There are also dogs that have no interest in meeting other dogs. Not necessarily reactive (although they can become so if repeatedly forced into interactions when they don't want them, especially if the other dogs are not socially competent and respectful of their signalled disinterest in interacting) but simply dogs that are not bothered about spending time with other dogs. Most dogs are probably somewhere in the middle - many are happy to meet and play with certain dogs, but not interested in others. We don't expect people to like and enjoy the company of every person they meet, so why on earth do we expect it of our dogs?

There are many factors that can come into the development of reactive behaviours. Far too many to cover in a single article - hence why there are books on the subject, mine among them! One of the biggest issues that can play a big part is that the ability to read and understand canine communication signals is one many people don't have, unless they decide to undertake some study in an effort to learn. Humans are predominantly vocal communicators, relying on the spoken word for the vast majority of our communication requirements. Dogs do vocalise, but it is very much a minor part of their communicative repertoire. Most of their communication comes in the form of shifts in posture, small movements of body parts, subtle changes that other socially competent dogs will observe and respect. 

The difficulty comes when that other dog doesn't understand and doesn't respect those signals and give the dog the space they are asking for. What makes it worse is that the socially incompetent (and essentially in a canine sense, rude) dogs are seen by their guardians as being the 'normal' dog. If I had £1 for every time I've heard 'it's ok, he's friendly' or 'that's what dogs do!' I'd never need to write another word again to pay the bills! It is the dogs who end up paying - that dog who doesn't want to say hi and says so but is ignored might feel the need to say it a bit louder, and then louder again, increasing in intensity each time. The longer this goes on (although it can only take a few encounters, in some cases where the dog is intensely frightened a single instance will we enough) the earlier the signals that the dog wants to be left alone will start, and the more extreme they may become. The poor dog can then feel the need to preempt the unwanted attention being forced on them by socially incompetent dogs, lunging and barking to drive them away before they can get close enough to cause the damage the dog fears will occur.

Another thing that I often hear other people comment on if they see something where a guardian is talking about reassuring their scared dog is the old chestnut of 'Don't comfort them or you're reinforcing their fear!' It makes me groan every time I see it, because it's such a fallacy. Fear is an emotion. It's not a choice that the dog makes, but instead an instinctive reaction to a situation that they perceive to contain danger. Reinforcement occurs when the consequence (reassurance from the guardian) causes the dog to repeat the same act to get the same result. But... dogs are not going to make themselves scared to get attention from us. If giving the scared dog reassurance when they are scared reinforces anything, it is that if they are scared they can come to their human who will do what they can to make the dog feel better, feel safe.

If fussing my dog when he comes and wants to hide against me because he's scared makes him more likely to come to me when something triggers that fear, I'm all over that idea. And in fact that is what my dog does. He knows if he's worried or scared he can come to me for cuddles, scritches, and reassurance that he is ok, that it is all safe. And that does not make his fear worse, it calms him. Now, as soon as he comes and sits leaning against my leg and I scratch his ears, he starts to calm. He listens for sounds, but stops shaking, stops vocalising, his hackles start to subside and often he'll have a yawn to release some of the tension and lay down actually on my feet.

The most important thing that my reactive dog has taught me is to listen to him (although to 'listen' more with my eyes than my ears!), to learn to read his signals and be guided by him as to what he can cope with comfortably on any given day. The single most important thing we can do for our dogs, whether reactive or not, is learn how to see what they are telling us, and respect the messages they give off. What we can do best for our reactive dogs is learn to understand them.

Safe to say, he's fairly relaxed here! 😂