Just Be

Look at just about any dog-related site and you will see lists of ‘rules’. The rules on what you should be training your dog to do, how much time you should spend training, how you should train (there is one rule I state for how to train, and that’s to make sure you have a good supply of treats on hand – positive reinforcement all the way!). Finn, my dog is a herding breed - a Border Collie. He's a livewire, and can be challenging to be around sometimes as he gets wired very easily. There are certain situations that he finds incredibly exciting, and just cannot contain himself. I am forever being told that he needs training to be 'better behaved' in these situations. They are ones that don't occur often, (not often enough to become not exciting, which is the problem) and so we have a policy of simply managing these situations. We don't get into the situation, and so the problem doesn't arise. Why waste time and possibly frustrate us both to get him to 'behave' in a situation we don't actually need to be in? This is wandering from the point a little, but is also relevant to the thinking I have been doing of late.

I have been doing a lot of reading in recent weeks (and more recently still, some writing) around the subject of imposter syndrome and emotional intelligence. This has meant several hours most days poring over books, websites and the laptop keyboard, trying to get my head around various subjects. This, according to Finn, is boring. As far as he is concerned, my time is much better spent on doing things with him. I would say I don’t disagree with him, but he’s a Border Collie, he doesn’t understand the concept of needing to earn money!

So I sit with my books, and my laptop, and I work. He has a forage mat so I can have peace for a while. I say peace, but it means more that I do my work to a constant background noise of sniffling, snuffling, snorting, and scratching. One day last week he actually picked the mat up and threw it across the floor to make the point he’d finished, and it landed on my feet. I have to admit to being proud of his aim. Throughout the day we’ll walk, we play in the garden, we do all kinds of enrichment things around the house – he loves a treat treasure hunt to work his brain and nose.

We both have a favourite way to spend part of our day together though. The part where I put the work down and we both get on the sofa and cuddle up for a while. There might be something on the television, or I might have music playing. Other than that, it’s just me and him, cuddling on the sofa. It’s his time, where he can snooze if he wants, or get his favourite ear or chest rubs. Sometimes, if I’m lucky, he will lay there with his chin on me, looking up at me with beautifully soft, relaxed eyes. In that time we just… be.

He likes to 'just be' on the bed as well 😍

Part of the reading and research I have been doing includes the concept of mindfulness*, of taking time to really be in the moment, take notice and savour it. I have come to the conclusion it is one of the best things we can do with our dogs, just for a little while, on a regular basis. Forget the rules about what you should or shouldn't be doing. Just be together, in that moment.

Just. Be.

*Further to this, I am currently studying an Emotional Intelligence course with Canine Principles, which goes into much more detail about mindfulness, and is very worth a look!